33 weeks

 

How many weeks-
33!!!!!

Size of the baby-

at my ultrasound on Monday the estimated her to be about 5 pounds :)

Weight Gain-

40 plus a few :(

Maternity Clothes-

absolutely and always, except for wearing Greg's clothes as pj's

Gender-

 she was def flashing us her "hamburger bun" during the ultrasound or atleast that's how the tech phrased it, lol

Movement-

 still lot's of movement which was driving the nurses crazy while I was in the hospital because she was always wiggling out from beneath the moniters

Sleep-

still about the same comfort wise but I've been finding it harder to sleep because I can't seem to shut my mind off from worrying and it's def worse at night when I'm just laying there

Symptoms-

same old peeing all the time, pelvic pressure, swelling and heartburn

Food Cravings-

sweet fruit like watermelon, cantaloupe and strawberries 

What I miss-

not being confined to either the bed or the couch... bed rest is no fun and annoying when all you can do is sit and think of all the things you need to be doing but can't

What I'm looking forward to-

meeting my little girl in less than four weeks now

 

Best Moment this week-

my pre-e remaining stable and seeing Mayson on ultrasound... it was so crazy to get to see what she's going to look like... cute little chubby baby with a big head like daddy and his pouty lips

In the blink of an eye...

Everything can change.
I have probably mentioned briefly at least a time or two about my high blood pressure, which was pre-existing pregnancy, but I don't think I even realized how big of a factor it was going to end up being in this pregnancy. I have been on blood pressure medicine my entire pregnancy and up until about 30 weeks everything was looking great and my blood pressure was under control.

Once I hit the 30 week mark my blood pressure started bouncing around; somedays it was normal other days it was creeping up hanging in the 150/95 range. Talked to the ob and we switched my medicine.

But just a week later at my next appointment my blood pressure was even higher so I had to do the lovely 24 hr urine test, have blood work done and have an ekg ran the next day. This was all on a friday.

Monday was my follow up appointment which would change the course of this pregnancy forever. My blood pressure was even higher 170/105 and my urine test showed to much protein all of which adds up to a diagnoses of pre-eclampsia. I was sent straight over to labor and delivery to undergo more tests to see how severe the pre-eclampsia was at this point. After another 24 hr urine test, three seperate blood draws, and almost constant fetal monitering the doctor's felt I was currently stable enough to continue with the pregnancy. The only cure for pre-eclampsia is delivery so now it's just a balancing act of making sure I don't get worse putting me and Mayson in danger versus trying to give Mayson as much time as possible before having to deliver her.

While in the hospital I recieved steroid shots for her lung development and as of tomorrow I will be 33 weeks. Our goal is to make it 4 more weeks. If we make it I'll be induced when I hit 37 weeks; making Mayson a mid October baby instead of a November baby. 

After two and a half days in the hospital I came home on strict bedrest. And honestly that was me pushing for bedrest at home. The doctor seemed like she would have prefered me to remain hospitalized until Mayson arrived but the thought of up to four weeks in the hospital was way to overwhelming for me. So luckily after agreeing to stick to strict bedrest and going in for three appointments a week, plus weekly blood work and weekly 24 hr urine test I am finally home.
I'm trying my best to relax and ignore the clock that seems to be ticking away in the back of my mind. The sound of those steady ever ticking seconds reminding me that things could change any time and Mayson Pearl could be on her way, 33 weeks along ot not :(

third trimester revelations

When you have a baby girl fetus who likes to hang out really low in your belly, laughing hysterically and suffering a coughing fit at the same time does not do wonders for your bladder.

And this previously mentioned laughing and coughing fit may have caused mommy to pee on herself... but just a little!!!

 But let's face it... whether it was a little or a lot... peeing yourself is peeing yourself!!! 

Not cool baby Mayson! Just not cool! 

30 weeks

How many weeks-
30!!!!!

Size of the baby-

according to our ultrasound estimate- 3 1/2 pounds

Weight Gain-

35 pounds

Maternity Clothes-

it's all I wear... that and Greg's t-shirts, boxers and pj's

Gender-

ultrasound confirmed she's still all girl!

Movement-

she's been moving around like crazy lately

Sleep-

okay I guess, starting to wake up sore and crampy though

Symptoms-

same as last week, lot's of potty breaks, swelling, pelvic pressure and now heartburn

Food Cravings-

all types of breakfast foods 

What I miss-

being able to move around without feeling like a sloth

What I'm looking forward to-

the third trimester flying by, lol

Best Moment this Week-

seeing our little girl in real time! she was grabbing her feet and blinking her eyes... it's the craziest thing ever to be able to take a sneak peek at her inside of her little world :)

Third trimester revelations

Being over seven months pregnant makes it hard for one to (ahem) groom oneself properly if you know what I mean. There's nothing more frustating, or perhaps hilarious, than trying to contort your body in all sorts of unnatural ways to see over your belly or using a mirror to be able to see all of your business down there so you can shave/trim properly. And I'm sure its only going to get worse from here!!! I'm this close to considering a revival in the 80's type "hairstyle" but I just can't bring myself to do it, lol! So for now I guess I'll keep hacking away, almost blindly, praying that I don't cut myself or see if I can finally talk my husband into doing it for me!!! Though that last one might be a long shot! I'll have better luck getting  my mom do it for me, which she totally would by the way... nothing like a mother's love I guess!!!!)

Oh there is nothing like the joys of pregnancy :)

29 weeks

How far along-

29 weeks

Size of the baby-

2 and 1/2 pounds and just over 15 inches

Weight Gain-

30 plus a few :(

Maternity Clothes-

pretty much all maternity clothes except a few shirts that I bought larges in, i'm thinking that i might just need to purchase some maternity shoes too!! i doubt they make these, perhaps i could make quite a killing if i came up with my own maternity shoe line :)

Gender-

GIRL :)

Movement-

still feeling quite a bit of movement

Sleep-

while its interupted by quite a few potty breaks and it takes  me a while to get comfy i'm not complaining because i'm sure it could be much worse

Symptoms-

peeing all the time cause Miss Mayson likes to bounce on my bladder, some swelling though its better than last week, lot's of pelvic pressure

Food Cravings-

apple pie (which was a bad breakfast choice because Mayson was not a fan) 

What I miss-

not feeling like my pelvic bone was being crushed!! mayson likes to hang out really low and half the time i feel like i'm one sneeze away from her shooting out!

What I'm looking forward to-

my ultrasound got scheduled for this week so on thursday morning Greg and I get the chance to peek at our baby girl again

Best Moment this Week-

celebrating Greg's 26th birthday and getting him his first ever "to my daddy" b-day card!!

28 weeks

How far along-

glance above to the blog title, lol :) 28 weeks

Size of the baby-

2 and 1/4 pounds and just over 14 inches

Weight Gain-

can yikes be my answer?!?! no? if you promise not to make fun of me I'll give you the brutally honest number... 30 pounds!!!

Maternity Clothes-

please refer to the previous question and you tell me if you think I could fit into anything but maternity clothes!!

Gender-

GIRL :)

Movement-

definite kicks and punches and still the occasional full body flip! gregory can easily feel her now and you can see my belly jump from the outside whenever she gets really going

Sleep-

still not too bad... it takes me a while to get comfy but the body pillow helps

Symptoms-

have to pee ALL of the time and swelling. the swelling was especially bad when we flew up to Philly last weekend, but thankfully it has gone down quite alot.

Food Cravings- 

grits!! and even though I'm a true southern girl I don't usually like grits at all 

What I miss-

having small boobs!! being able to get up and down with the kids at work, my belly is definitely making it hard for Mrs. Elizabeth to sit "criss-cross applesauce" during group time, lol

What I'm looking forward to-

since I have high bloodpressure and take a beta-blocker this coming week I'm being sent to the high risk ob for a precautionary ultrasound to make sure that Mayson is growing like she should be. i'm excited to have another chance to see our baby girl and hope that we recieve confirmation that she is growing and developing right on track :)

Best Moment this Week-

her stroller and car seat arrived in the mail, plus we purchased her pack and play and a few other items from BabiesRus. i'm getting excited seeing all of her things assembled and slowly taking over our apartment!

love this song :)

Never experienced infertility, but I do however know the pain and sadness of suffering a miscarriage. As Mayson flips and kicks around in my belly and I watch this video/ hear this song I could never feel anything but grateful for my little girl to be!

Dear Mayson Pearl,

One day when you are older and capable of simple math equations I'm sure you are going to be asking a few questions. You'll take the day that  your dad and I had our first date, November 21st and the date that your dad and I got married July 4th and realize that less than 8 months separate them. You might also be able to calculate that according to your birthdate your mommy would have been 5 months pregnant on her official wedding day. And that when you were born your mom and dad hadn't even known each other for an entire year yet! And that little Miss Mayson is definitely not the most flattering math, lol.
Although once you are old enough to understand what all the numbers mean I hope that what will stand out to you most is that mommy was 29 when all of these numbers happened and not 16, lol! And I hope that you will always know that, you our dearest Mayson Pearl, are the best suprise that we ever recieved!!
I never want to hide from you or anyone else the facts surronding your coming to be. My greatest fear is that you will suffer or be made to feel like you were a mistake or other unwanted baby.
The truth behind the numbers is that I had always been on the pill until that fateful doctor's appointment when my doctor decided that my bloodpressure was too high to continue with that method of birth control. We decided that the depo shot was the next best option for me but I needed to wait until my next cycle to start. The flaw in this plan turned out to be that your mommy and daddy decided to only use additional protection the week that mommy "thought" she would ovulate. God, fate, chance, the best of luck, or whatever took that choice and made you. And suprisingly your dad and I have never looked back to that moment and wished that we had done anything different. From the very moment we found out that you existed we haven't felt anything but excited and happy that you were going to be ours. No matter what the numbers may say we feel blessed!! Your mommy has never been one for math or numbers anyway. I'll take how my heart feels about you over those silly numbers anyday :)

Well hello there 3rd trimester!!

Obviously I might be just a wee bit behind on my blog posts. And if by a "wee bit" I actually mean 12 weeks, than my previous statement would be totally correct! So lets recap what all has happened in the past 12 weeks...

I've gotten bigger...

We found out we are having a little baby GIRL!!!

We decided on a name, one that I had never even considered before, lol :)

Mayson Pearl to be exact- named after both of my grandmothers Elizabeth Pearl and Effie Mae.

Plus I've gotten even bigger!!!

And perhaps the most exciting news of all... little Miss Mayson is now fully legimate. On July 4th Gregory and I got legally hitched!

16 weeks!!

I'm officially 16 weeks and 4 days... which means I am horrible at keeping up my blog, lol!! I'll have to recap the past 6 weeks and give you the cliff note version but for now I'll settle with posting a picture of my 16 week baby bump that has finally caught up in growth with my butt!!!

Ten weeks down!

The first quarter is finished!

I'm a fourth of the way there!

25% done!

And when I think of it that way waking up every morning to vomit straight up stomach acid doesn't seem to bad.

The burning sensation rising from my stomach up into my chest is slightly more tolerable.

My skin reverting back to it's oily adolescent self doesn't bother me nearly as much.

And I suppose it's only fitting that being a 4th of the way done I've gained a total of 4 pounds... it's all about the number 4 as I finish this tenth week of pregnancy.

So in the spirit of 4- here are the four baby names that we like...

Benjamin Kane

Silas Alexander

Elliott Grace

Hadley Anne

... and since we are expecting only one and not quadruplets (thank u God!!!!)... you'll just have to wait around until sometime in the fourth month when we make our final decision :)

9 weeks and counting

Totally just broke down and bought a belly band! My pants are already getting way too tight and let me tell you what a relief it is to not have to button them and feel suffacated by denim, lol!!

Pregnancy has taught me...

1) I actually like having small boobs! Now I know that the bigger they get the more they get in the way!

2) Planning your next meal using the criteria of what will be the least gross food to throw up is actually a very useful skill

3) For every symptom there is a pill. And for every pill there is an added symptom. (But don't worry because there is a pill for that too!)

4) Eve listening to that damn serpent really screwed us women over!

Weeks 7 and 8

So far each passing week has been one nonstop nausaus, dizzying blur.

Eat. Puke. Eat. Puke. Ok what happens if I just drink? Nope, still puke. And puke and puke. There is nothing left in my stomach but acid. Lets puke!

Which only ends up with poor Greg half carrying my zombified carcass to the urgent care center for iv fluids. Fluids would revive me. I'd be able to keep some food down for a bit then everything would just snowball into the aforementioned cycle.

Second trip proved to be slightly more productive because it's where I discovered dissovable zofran <3 heart <3 which seems to be working better for me than simply the pop a pill every 8 hours version.

So now I'm on a new cycle, only it's the pill popping cycle. Zofran and phenergan for nausau... throw in a prenatal and some B6... acebutolol for my bloodpressure... tylenol for the horrible headaches I seem to be getting at night... along with the occassional gas-x or senekot for the horrible constipation that the zofran causes.

Yikes!!! I feel like a junky. Poor baby Stewart has been recieving more drugs in just 9 weeks of gestation than most people take all year.

Pregnancy is no joke!!

These past few weeks should be what we document and show all of the future teenage mothers out there!

I'm excited and I want the baby but still find myself struggling to stay positive after day upon, upon day of this ridiculousness. In utter honesty these past few weeks have not been pretty. There were days when I was a complete and total mess. Yet day in and day out Gregory has been there... he's been my biggest cheerleader... and there are days that I take out how crappy I feel on him which makes me pretty sure I don't deserve him... but he's still there.

Solid. Positive. Empathetic.

And you can't really ask for more than that :)

Pregnancy has taught me...

1) We don't scrub our toilets nearly enough.
2) Some foods were never meant to be thrown up. Ice cream tastes horrible the second time around, mash potatoes come up in nasty clumps and rice returns pretty much as swallowed. Perhaps I should work on my chewing!
3) EVERYONE will ask you how you are feeling which will eventually wear on your nerves and make you want to give some rather inappropriate replys. So far I have restrained myself but I'm only 8 weeks so just give me time!!!
4) My stomach hates me!
5) I would choose diarrhea over constipation anyday!
and
6) I will definitely not miss the compulsion to check the toilet paper for even the most microscopic twinge of blood everytime I wipe!

Six weeks

If I could sum up week six of this pregnancy it would be puking, puking and more puking!!!

Oh how I despise those women who just rave about how easy their pregnancy was and how wonderful they felt.

*&!#$Insert profanity here*&!#$

So far I absolutely hate being pregnant!!!

I lack the words to adequately describe how I feel. At best my body just feels weird, like something is off. My skin feels strange and my stomach feels funny. At my worst I'm hovering over the toilet puking my guts out, feeling like my insides are being ripped apart by terrible gas pains, with the world spinning around me and my head pounding relentlessly.

For the most part I've been curled up in a little ball either on the couch or on the bed. At first I was only sick on and off. Since wednesday evening I've been throwing up atleast 10 times a day... starting friday night I threw up anything solid that I tried to eat.

If I eat, I puke.

If I move, I puke.

It feels like if I even breath wrong, I puke.

I absolutely hate all of the food commercials on tv.

I can't stand kisses or Greg trying to cuddle up to me.

I hate car rides... what don't I hate at the moment, lol?!

The ob prescribed me zofran which I've heard is a miracle drug for some but it didn't work well for me. It works by suppressing serotonin and my anxiety medicine that I'm dosing off of works by increasing seretonin so in my nonexpert opinion I think both meds are canceling each other out. Not to mention that the ob wants me to take 1 pill every 12 hours but my insurance will only pay for 12 pills every 15 days. I'm not all that good at math but even I know that doesn't add up!

The one bright side to this week was Greg's winging ceremony. For almost two years now Gregory has worked towards this moment so luckily I managed to pull myself together enough to celebrate this day with him and our parents. The night before I was an emotional wreck, throwing up and trying to find something to wear that fit since I have that lovely early pregnancy bloat. But luckily I made it threw the next morning and the entire ceremony; plus lunch at Cracker Barrel before I started puking again... at these stage in the game I guess you gotta celebrate the little things!

Best Doctor's Appointment Ever!!

And we have a heartbeat!!!!

Plus the most adorable baby blob I've ever seen, lol :)

its gonna be a long night

It's 2 am and I can't sleep.

Tomorrow we have an ultrasound. And I wish it was sheer excitement that has me awake.

Instead it's the cold hard reality that you don't always get to see your miracle on that screen.

I can already feel my adrenaline pumping, my heart racing just a few beats faster, the anxiety and panic setting in. I'm trying to stay positive but quite honestly I'm scared shitless by what tomorrow could bring.

And sure I'll handle whatever happens to be thrown my way but oh how I want to see that little heartbeat flickering away on screen! There's been few things in life that I've ever wanted more than this.

But wanting something doesn't make it happen.

And frankly though I ask for prayers, I don't think praying for something makes it happen.

Hell, even thinking you fully deserve something doesn't make it happen.

Admitting total loss of control over something is hard. But whether we see a healthy baby or an empty sac tomorrow is completely out of our hands.

We know what we want.

We know what we think we deserve.

We just don't know what we are going to get.

And for a girl who has stared at that ultrasound screen before and felt like she just lost tonight is one of the hardest nights of them all.

dear baby Stewart

Yesterday your daddy got you one step closer to no longer being an illegitamate baby, lol!!! He might have been a little nervous... considering he did drop the ring and there was the fact that he almost forgot to get down on one knee... but nevertheless we are officially engaged and we're incredible excited to be one step closer to being our own little family of three!!

And we most not forget to give a shoutout to your great grandma who made this much BLING possible by passing down her diamond ring to your daddy.

from Gregory

I was always annoyed before by girls that bragged or went on and on about how wonderful their guy was...

So if you are like I was before you are just going to have to get used to being annoyed because...

My guy sure is wonderful!!!!

4 weeks and counting

surprises

Life is full of surprises. Some are good, some are bad but most are what you make of them. Wanna know my surprise...

Yes that is a positive little blue line... and it's quite a bit darker than the one I took just the night before. The test were a two for one deal, but when I took the first one I had just peed three times in the past hour. There was a faintest of faint blue line that showed up which only left me even more confused than when I had first peed on the darn thing - so I decided to take the next one in the morning.

3:40 am rolled around and I felt like my bladder was going to explode, so to the bathroom I went where I immediately started freaking out because I couldn't find the extra test. Greg's cat likes to play with weird things so here I was yelling at him like an insane woman about skinning his cat alive when he found the supposed MIA test behind the picture frame on the counter. Needless to say two minutes and an apology later we were watching a little blue line move across the screen.

Shock was my first reaction.

Followed immediately by happiness.

This wasn't planned but many times the best surprises hit you straight in the face at 3:40 am on a thursday morning.

What can you do but roll with it?!

Gregory and I are both excited for this new journey and look forward to the many more 3:40 wakeup calls to come!!

whirlwind!

The past couple of months I feel like my life has been a whirlwind of fear, hope, joy, stress, laughter, and tears. My days have been filled with work, school, trips to North Carolina, cancer diagnosis, new love, good news and bad. Things finally seem to be mellowing out and I'm relieved for the opportunity to catch my breath.
The journey of cancer is never a fun one and now its forever going to be the new path that my family is own. January 13th (friday the 13th!!!) my mom underwent a double massectomy. The surgery was a success and her tumor was completely removed. The doctor's were very optimistic that it hadn't spread so we were cautiously overjoyed as we awaited the final pathology report. When the call came the doctor confirmed our hopes- the cancer didnt spread... but that was the good news... the bad was that when examining her lymph nodes they discovered that she also has lymphoma.
My mom reacted with courage. Just another hurdle that God wanted her to clear.
But I was angry.
Not one cancer but two? Really God, is this some cruel joke? I am not okay with you taking my mother away from me just yet.
While my mom is accepting I'm ready to throw daggers at cancer and a God who allows my mom to suffer.
I'm still trying to work it all out in my head. Find a purpose in it all. Try to understand why we are to find joy in our suffering... but those are thoughts I might never work out.
Atleast my anger has cooled some. My mom's lymphoma appears to be in the early stages and not active at the present moment. So now its just months to years of watch and wait. If it ever becomes active... starts spreading... we treat it... in the hopes that it will become dormant again. Lymphoma as it turns out has no cure, only treatment.
So for the moment my feelings are stable, just like the cancer. I'm currently thinking positively towards the whole thing and I'm hopeful for the future. (Though I can't promise how I might feel when the time comes to start fighting the good fight.)

There has been one constant throughout this whirlwind of events and emotions... a certain Mr. Gregory Stewart.

In just a couple of months he has become my rock to stand on. When the waters were rising and I felt like I was about to be swept away he was there to hold me up. After Brian, I promised myself that I would never lean on someone else again. Never depend on someone to help me through... but when you find someone so perfect for you as he is for me you can't help but let yourself let go.
I'll have to do atleast one sappy post about how amazing he really is but for now I've leave it with the simple revelation that we are plotting forever together and I couldn't be happier!