spend more time with friends
Want a scary little peek into how my brain works?
I was invited to spend the day with some good friends. A saturday. A sunny day. An 80 degree day. Quality time on the water day.
If you had no other plans that would intefere with the previously described day you would be thrilled at the prospect of spending a beautiful day with some beautiful people... wouldn't you?
For me it's not that simple. For me spending the day out and about seems almost exhausting. Part of me would rather spend the day at home, inside, where I can escape back into bed whenever I so choose. I would almost rather lie in bed alone and imagine what a day like that would be like than actually go.
It's sort of sad to think that I have to talk myself into spending a day with friends. That I have to drag myself up and out of bed and force myself through the process of getting ready. What's even crazier is that I know that once I get their I will have a good time. I will be glad that I went. So why do I have to will myself into going in the first place?
Believe me, I wish I knew why I am the way that I am. But I guess an answer isn't nearly as important as the actual realization. I should probably stop asking myself "why I think this way" and instead focus my attention into combating these thoughts.
It is not okay with me to let life pass me by because it's a stuggle to get up and get out so I can enjoy the ride.
Maybe it will always be a struggle... but I've got to stop waiting for it not to be.
Stop waiting for the day when the call of my safe and comfy bed isn't as strong as all that is going on in the actual world.
Stop sulking because fighting yourself day in and day out to actual get out and enjoy life sucks the big one.
Oh well... sometimes life sucks... get over it and move on.
We all have burdens to bear and demons to conquer...
and since I am fully aware of mine...
Here's to spending the day with friends.
A saturday.
A sunny day.
An 80 degree day.
A much needed out and about day!
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