What I've learned Wednesdays

1) In Florida air conditioning is a must... even in December.

2) Don't sleep in your contacts. Sure, sure the box says you can but if you sleep in them routinely your eyes can't breath and develop blood vessel growth or something like that.. Whatever it is it's bad... so even though "they" say you can- don't sleep in your contacts.

3) You can make smores in the microwave. They taste just as good as if you made them over a campfire.

4) My dad is absolutely the best daddy ever. He surprised me with a purple i-pod for making all A's my first semester back at school. How could you not love and appreciate that man!!!

5) A lot of times in life you've got to close the door on the past and walk away. Be extra careful and make sure you never look back.

6) I actually owe Brian an apology. I realize now what a mistake a certain choice was. Not going into details but let's just say I crossed a line that should have never been crossed because I was only thinking about myself. Now two guys have lost what was once a good friendship and I'm pretty sure I hurt Brian in the process. U live and learn I guess... but when it comes down to it my friendship with Brian is far more important to me than the other thing. And that's that.

7) Even though I am very much aware of how blessed I am, I'm still finding it hard to not feel a little down this Christmas. I've lost a husband and a grandmother this year and it's hard not to feel the pain of that during holiday family time. Why is it that you can have sooooooo much to be thankful for but still get stuck on the few things that you don't have?

8) Certainly not new knowledge but nevertheless very much worth mentioning... Cheerwine is by far the best soda ever! Hands down! No contest! Should def be the drink of the Gods! Period!

Lost keys and such...

Did I mention that I lost my car keys last week!! I had finally got around to taking all the boxes out of the backseat I had picked up from Brian's and somewhere between bringing them in, sorting through all of my junk and putting it away I lost my car keys. I searched everywhere for those stupid things. Even had Brian and Gavin break into my car thinking maybe I had locked them inside. Sadly my keys never did turn up. So I spent a week driving Gavin's Geo Tracker with no a/c and no powersteering waiting to get a new car key made. I learned a valuable lesson from all of this though... always make a copy of your car key! Plus I realized how often I still used my car's a/c even though it's December. Anyway. Yesterday I finally got my new key. I most have been so happy to finally have a car key again because I fell alseep with it in my pocket and woke up to my key laying right beside me in bed this morning. I'm so in love with my new tacky looking Toyota key that I'm sleeping with it!! Hmmm... perhaps sleeping with my key is a little much but hey it beats letting it out of my sight and losing it again.

the grades are in...

First semester back to school is offically over!!!

Four classes complete!

Four A's earned!

Got to admit that I'm suprised and also pretty proud of myself for finally seeing something through. I was always the girl who was best at quitting any and everything she started. But not this time. Thanks to my daddy who helped me afford to go back without going broke in the process. Thanks to my mom and all my friends who have been a constant source of encouragement and support. And special thanks to my main man Jesus, without him nothing would be possible. And perhaps the strangest most bizzare thanks of all. Thank you Brian for walking away last April. You threw me out of the boat and suddenly it was sink or swim for me. And thankfully I chose to swim.

It is what it is.

Obviously I missed the class on how you are supposed to act when you and your spouse split up. Supposedly you SHOULDN'T talk to them several times a week. You DON"T text each other just to see how the other is doing. You DON'T call your soon to be ex-wife at seven in the morning just to talk whenever you're upset about something. You DON'T arrange to have your soon to be ex-husband come over and help you put together your new dresser. You DON'T talk. You DON'T hang out. You DON'T care about each other anymore...
or not...
What if you're still best friends? So what if you talk and text each other? What's so wrong with helping each other out? What if you always will care about them?
I get a lot of "what the hell" or "you guys are weird." Well duh... Brian and I have always been weird. All I can say is that when you grow up with someone and you love someone you're always going to want to be there for them and see them happy. Some people ask how I can be friends with a guy that bailed on our marriage. My reply simply would be, "How can I not?" As friends Brian and I work. He might have failed in some aspects of being a husband but he's never failed me as a friend. Somehow even when our divorce is finalized I'll always think of Brian as family. In this life we'll always be connected somehow. Perhaps there will never be a correct label for Brian and I. Maybe no one will ever understand our friendship. But that's okay. As Brian likes to say, "It is what it is," and that's good enough for me.

What I've learned Wednesdays...

1) I feel guilty for being quick to complain about having to drag myself to class after working all day. I should feel blessed. I should feel lucky. I should just be glad that I have the opportunity to finally go back and get my degree.

2) Speaking of blessings. I always count it as one when a cop pulls you over for speeding, shows you your 13 miles an hour over the posted speed limit number on his radar gun and then just let's you go with a "just make sure you slow it down some honey."

3) My favorite song of the moment is actually a blue grass song... never saw that one coming.

4) My friend Laura is one kick ass tough woman... and her fiance (or whatever the hell he is)should be ashamed.

5) Dating is highly overrated.

6) I def need to go and try on the new Miraculous bra from Victoria Secret... if it actually does live up to it's advertisments I might just have to force my cheap ass self to buy one for $50.

7) The next time I spend ten minutes trying to shove something into the trunk of my car I will be aware of the fact that the forty some year old neighbor might be watching and that he is later going to call my roomy and go on and on about how great my ass looked!!! Ummmm... not impressed buddy... plus it really creeps me out that I look like I'm barely legal and you were checking me out.

8) As of today I've been officially on my own for eight months. And not a day goes by that I don't feel blessed to be living this new life that I've made for myself.

overstated changes

I tend to try and say with too many words exactly what I think I'm thinking. I'm pretty sure that I make things over complicated this way. It confuses me how I can be a slightly different person from one day to the next. I don't do well with change... but if there's one constant in life, that's change, so I suppose I better get used to it. I over think the fact that I feel like a hypocrite sometimes. But the simple truth to the matter is that what I think today might not be what I think tomorrow. I'm evolving as a person and surely that is a good thing. It's all trial and error really... besides nothing is stopping me from returning to my previously stated beliefs if the new ones don't work out. I used to laugh when people said that everything happens for a reason... now I pretty much believe that things do. If you asked me just a year ago where I'd be now I'd say married and with a baby on the way. Obviously that's not where I'm at. Six months ago I was furious at Brian and thought he was an asshole. Now I'd tell you that he's a great friend (maybe not husband!) and that I only hope the best for him because I think as a person he deserves it. I never thought that I could be alone, be happy and be okay and yet here I am. Such short spans of time... such different takes on life. I'm not a hypocrite. I'm not perfect. And I'm ever changing. Because even at twenty seven I still find myself growing up. The other day someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I kinda just laughed and said that I already was grown up... and they just laughed at me in return. I guess in a way you never are fully grown up. I keep waiting for the moment to happen when I no longer feel like an 18 yr old playing at being an adult... I'll keep you posted of when and if that moment ever occurs! Until then I need to be making my overthinking, overcomplicated, constantly changing self work on my research paper that is due tuesday. Atleast it only has to be a 1,000 words... I'm sure I can easily manipulate a 1,000 words to overstate and overmake my point for an A!

What I've learned Wednesdays...

#1
It's going to take me months to wrap my head around the fact that as of Saturday, November 28th I am now TWENTY SEVEN years old!

and # 2
I'm just now learning to reconcile myself with the fact that what I want for my life and what God wants for my life are sometimes two different things. Perhaps someday I'll get to the point where I can put my own self interest aside and soley follow his choosen path for my life. I'm currently still working on choosing God's path instead of forging my own... and I'm pretty sure that it's going to be a lifelong process of constantly checking my GPS (or God's Positioning Device, lol) to keep me from veering off in the wrong direction!