Me

For the longest time I let myself be defined by who I was to other people and I tried to be what they wanted. I failed at that miserably. I'm realizing now that I can only be myself. Bending to fit Brian's or anyone else's image of who or what I should be won't ever work. I'll always fall short because that isn't who I am. I won't apoligize for who I am or be ashamed of it. I might not be what Brian wanted but I am me... I'm not the party girl... the center of attention... the one who makes everyone else laugh... I'm shy... not very outspoken... in twenty six years I've never been drunk, never tried drugs, never smoked... I am the girl who waited for my wedding night... I don't do "sexy"well... I'm more comfortable with cute... I'm a horrible cook (except for pancakes!!)... I drink way too much soda and I'll eat cookies and cupcakes for breakfast... I tend to be lazy and messy at home but overly organized at work... I absolutely love my job and I'd do it forever if I could afford too...there's nothing that I'm wonderful at but I'm pretty okay at a lot of things... I tend to be too nice... I'll put someone elses comfort above my own... I'm loyal to a fault... I can't hold grudges... I get depressed to easily... I don't feel 26 more like 12... the most important thing to me in life is friends and family... I don't put to much value on things... I'm honest... I have trouble going after what I want... I doubt myself to much... worry to much... maybe I lean on people to much... I'm sarcastic... love to read... like trashy gossip magazines and Perez Hilton... I'm cheap when it comes to money... secretly like to watch reality tv... I don't like to be alone... I'm sheltered... I'll always be a daddy's girl... and even though we have our moments my mom will always be one of my best friends... I forgive to easily... I'm more comfortable in jeans than in anything else... I like my hair short... and makeup to me usually means putting on some lipgloss... I'm an amazing preschool teacher... a dedicated friend... a good daughter.... pretty alright big sister... and one day hopefully I think I'll make a great mom...
I'm not changing. I wouldn't know how to be anyone else... I don't want to be anyone else. Some things about me definately aren't perfect but they are what they are. And I am who I am. I'm proud of not changing and I'm not planning on conforming to fit anyone's ideas of who or what I should be. People can take it or leave it. Like me or hate me. I'm not ashamed. No more Elizabeth Matthews... it's time to be Elizabeth Readling again.