"I wanted to write about the moment when all of your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That's the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about."
"Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves."
I find myself increasingly self examinate lately. I've always over thought things a bit much but now I think it's to the extreme. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing... I think it's important for me to honestly know who I am and where I'm at in this exact moment so that I can decide where I want to go. I'm all about moving forward lately. Overcoming things that hold me back... (though in truth it's mainly only myself that holds me back.) I don't want to walk through life day by day, aimlessly, never doing or being anything worthwhile. Because surely life was meant for more than that. Maybe I'm wrong... maybe their isn't really a purpose to life at all other than just to live it.... but if I'm wrong don't tell me... I'd like to think that there's more. That I'm more than just one more person wandering through life with no direction and no reason for being. I think it's been good for me to have to start all over again. Somehow I reached the age of 26 still in a bubble. Still fairly innocent and naive. I've never really had it tough... never struggled... never faced any real challenges. So in turn I am a person who gives up to easily, doesn't know how to rely only on myself, has no drive, no perseverence... usually when the going gets tough I just quit. But now I can't be that person... I don't want to be that person. And for that reason I'm glad that I've had to break my whole life down. Broken is good. Except now I am faced with the challenge of rebuilding it. I figure I can do one of two things. Sit and sulk about how my perfect fairy tale ending has gone out the window. Or I can embrace life as it is. Appreciate where I'm at and take this moment to "somehow choose what my life is going to be all about."
No comments:
Post a Comment