Broken

Tonight I might cry for all of the things that I've lost and for all of the issues that I've now gained. I'll cry and tell myself it's not fair. I'll want to scream and curse god for the unfairness of it all. Because now not only am I alone but I have all of these internal conflicts and insecurites that I'm suddenly coming to the realization that I've got to deal with. That it wasn't just my marriage that was broken but now I'm broken inside because of it. I'll probably cry myself to sleep tonight but when tomorrow comes I'll have to wash all traces of those tears away. Crying for myself isn't going to help. Feeling sorry for myself isn't going to get me anywhere. Crying in the end is useless. I am what I am now... but I don't have to be that me in the future. One night of dwelling on it is all that I'm allowed... after tonight I'll have to face who and what I've become head on. Remove the broken pieces and replace them with something new and improved. I can't use my divorce and bad marriage as a crutch. I'm the only person in charge of me. And if I'm broken then I'm in charge of fixing it. No excuses. There might be tears tonight... but in the morning I'm moving on.