Still no billboards.
In a way I think that God conceals from us his exact wants and needs. Us having free will and all he probably has to. He can't tell us what to do- that would defeat the purpose. Answers being concealed as they are and all I think that maybe foster care is an easy out for me. Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful thing and I think that I'm meant to do it one day but right now for me it's like a cop out. With foster care you know that the child will eventually be taken away. With foster care their is certainty. You are aware of the outcome before you enter in to it. With trying to have another baby their is no certainty, no guarenteed outcome. I'm scared of losing another child. Scared of trying. I'm afraid of not knowing how things will turn out. Does that knowledge give me my answer. I'm not sure. I really want Brian and I to have a baby of our own but do I have the guts to try? Can I handle it if something goes wrong again? Let me try this one more time...come on God...
Where is my billboard?
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