Welcome to the World Faye Lynn!

Today I went with some friends from work to visit Nikki and her brand new baby girl- Faye Lynn. She was born yesterday, which just so happened to also be my daddy's birthday. Nikki was up and moving around... I was suprised. I mean she just gave birth last night, but she seemed to be doing and feeling remarkable well. Her new daughter was really cute, not all red and wrinkling like some newborns. It's an amazing thing to hold a baby that you know was inside of their mother's belly less than 24 hours ago. But that's the miracle of life. It felt good to be there, with Nikki and her new baby, and to feel genuinally happy for her. I look forward to when Brian and I start "trying" again and for all of the joy and excitment a new pregnancy and a new baby will bring. I feel hopeful for the future. Hopeful that this next time we will have a healthy baby. Part of me feels bad for wanting to move forward. Almost like if I heal and put the miscarriage behind me, I'll be putting the baby that we lost behind me. So I'm still trying to work all of that out in my head. To convince whatever part of me that is holding onto the sadness that moving on doesn't mean forgetting. I'll never forget. The baby that we lost will always be our first child in my eyes. Yet I know that I need to move on. Knowing and being able to, well now that's two different things. For now though I'm just going to find hope in the fact that today the sight of a mother and her child didn't feel be with sadness and bitterness. And hey, that's got to be a step in the right direction.