Many will chastise me for dwelling on the "what could have beens." While others will say I should put the past behind me. And perhaps they would be right.
Yet part of me is always going to hold out and assume they are wrong. I don't count these tears of rememberance as wasted tears.
June 12, 2008 was my due date.
A due date that never came to be.
My sweet baby was taken from me when I was three days shy of fifteen weeks pregnant.
I know many people have had miscarriages before. Many people have even had to say goodbye to their sweet babies at delivery or shortly thereafter. I'm not the only person to ever lose their baby, I'm not the first, and I certainly won't be the last.
But I will be the person who stands up and reminds others that it is okay if it sometimes still hurts. If once or twice a year you still shed a tear for your "what could have been" or take a moment to relive the sorrow of a day long past. It's okay to remember. It's okay to relive the sadness for a moment. That's what makes us human. I don't dwell on it. Most days I don't even think about it. I for one feel blessed for the moments that I do stop and remember. Because sometimes all life chooses to give you is a memory. And if all I have been blessed with is a memory of a child, I refuse to give that memory up even if it does have the power to bring me to tears.
1 comment:
time does make it easier but it will never make you forget! Its good to remember! It's good to think about it. It was a part of your life that made you who you are now! We only get stronger my friend!
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