Fate?

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end."

I went to the house today to get a few things. Mainly stuff for Mrs. Laura. (We work together and the kids call her Mrs. so by habit she's Mrs. Laura to me too!) Anyway. Laura is due to have her second baby girl this December and seeing as her first baby girl is nine she doesn't have any baby stuff left over from her first one. Sooooooo I'm sure you can see where this post is going. To reference back to the first ever post I typed on here right after I lost my baby...

"You were never here but you have things. A toy aquarium. Bibs. Books. Halloween and Christmas outfits you were supposed to wear. There all here. Packed away in a box. Placed in a closet. Your stuff is here. But you're not. You'll never get to use it. I save it. Save it for the baby we still hope to have. Yet that baby won't be you. Will I find it weird that they're using your things. I can't bring myself to get rid of it. And why keep it if I'm not going to use it. It's just that I wanted you to use it. That's my problem I still want for what can't be. Will I ever move out and away from the past?"

To answer that last question.... yes, I'm finally moving on from what might have been. And I no longer want for what can never be. So now I pass all of my baby's things on. Brand new and unused. It doesn't make since just to let them sit in a closet collecting dust when Laura could defiantely use them for her baby girl. I have no use for them. My baby that only ever existed inside of me doesn't need them. It's selfish just to hold onto things just because letting go is so hard. So I'll hand the boxes over to her- the clothes, books, toys, and even the crib. And I'll smile like it isn't hard to let these things go. Smile and pretend that it isn't hurting me. Smile and not let on that I might cry about it later. Smile because it's the right thing to do. Maybe this is completing the circle. Maybe her baby is who life and fate intended to have these things all along. Yeah, maybe it's fate. And you can't argue with fate... only smile... grin and bear it and go wherever it wants to lead you.