Days...

One hundred and forty days since he walked out of my life. One hundred and forty days that I've been on my own. Compared to the 1,928 that we were married or the 2,679 days that we spent together 140 doesn't sound like a lot. In some ways it seems like it was only 14 days ago yet in other ways it seems like 14,000. In life you've got to be grateful for all of your days... the 2,679 with him and the 140 without. That first number will never change... it's set in stone now but the 140... that's going to continue to grow. What suprises me is that I'm ok with that. Back in April I never thought I would make it here. To this place where I'm actually happy and ok with having 140 days seperate him and I. It's like that bullshit quote that people like to throw out at you all the time, something about "Don't dwell on your past or worry about your future because the past is no longer there and the future will take care of itself." (Or something random like that.) I suppose I could get behind a statement like that. It's a good way to strive to be... humanly impossible to follow completely but still a good idea in theory, (sorta like communism). But basically that is currently becoming my motto in life- not communism, the other thing. I'm trying not to worry. Because here's what I've realized- what will be is going to be. You only have so much control over things and the only control you have really is how you take things. It's not what hand your dealt in life but what you make of it... how you play it. So I'll take those 2,679 days and be thankful for all of the memories and all of the lessons living those days taught me. And I'll be forever grateful that I survived the past 140 days and that I am a better person for it. Just like I'll appreciate tomorrow and the next day and the next. You never know how many days you're given. I plan on enjoying them. Being happy. Doing something worthwhile with the time I'm given. Taking each day as it comes and just living it... you can't really ask for more out of life than that.