Me?

I want to go against the grain.
Fight the sameness that I always fall into.
I've tried so hard to be the world's quote "idea of normal" that there is nothing noticeably original about me anymore. I don't want to be ashamed of who I am... or of all the little pieces, both good and bad, that I'm made up of.
For 28 years I think my biggest mistake has been learning to live around who I am instead of learning to live with it.
You can't wish pieces of yourself away... and though I know many will argue, my mom included, I don't believe you can pray them away either. I think if God is who they claim him to be he wants everyone to embrace their real self. And if you believe in that whole "we're made in God's image" mumbo-jumbo shit then even the parts of me that I hate are a reflection of who God is... and isn't that just a huge and complicated thought to try and wrap your mind around.
Do I know who God is?
No.
Do I know who I am?
Not completely.
Do I believe in the possibility that God is who "they" say he is?
I do tend to lean more towards the yes on the actual existence of God but I believe that you have to be very careful because a lot of time "they" don't know what the hell they're talking about.
Do I believe in myself?
I need to... I used to... getting back to that place might be a journey.
I do know that you can't believe in someone you don't know. You can't believe in someone you can't accept. And you can't take someone elses belief and make it your own. I have to find my own way.
It starts with me.
All of me.
What I love about me.
What I hate about me.
What I know about me.
And what I've yet to learn about me.
It all starts with me.
Not some pretend, made up, fake and re-edited version of me.
But the real me.