Three months ago life as I knew it ended and my world was turned upside down. Now three months on the other side of it all I'm slowly sorting things out. Here's what I've discovered...
I have the best family and friends ever. The past year with Brian I had slowly closed myself off from everyone and only now am I beginning to realize how much I was missing. I've lived more in the past three months than I did in the past year with Brian. And not because I've done big huge extravagant things but rather I've enjoyed all of the small little everyday things that I had closed myself off to. I think I was pretty much numb and I'm slowly waking up to the world. I can honestly say that most days I am happy. I laugh alot. Smile alot. I'm optimistic. I'm doing things just for me. I'm going back to school to finish my degree in special education and I'm excited about that. Some days I'm lonely but that's to be expected. I still don't do so well with to much free time on my hands. Which is weird because I used to like having lot's of free time... I didn't like having my days full of things to do. Now the busier I am the better. I've made it through the first three months. And though they weren't the best three months of my life I'm glad that I was forced to live them. I appreciate things so much more. I might have fallen apart at first. Had a few less than steller moments the first six weeks or so. A couple emotional breakdowns where I could have easily been considered slighty to mostly crazy. (Sorry to those who had to endure those moments!!) But falling apart a little bit was good. Because I learned that I could pick up the pieces and put myself back together again. Move forward on my own and be a better person for it. More of the person that I want to be. For only being three months out I think I'm doing pretty okay... and for right now atleast, okay sounds pretty damn good to me!
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