133

The other day David and I were wondering around Walmart trying to kill time because it was pouring outside and we didn't particularly feel like wading thru one of Florida's torrential thunderstorms to get to the truck. We were looking for zip ties for some project he's working on and we, or rather I, had the misfortune of wondering down the aisle with all of the scales. In hindsight I should have known better but being ever curious I just had to step on one to see how much weight I had actually gained over the past six months or so.
133 pounds was the shocking red number staring back at me!!
I know I'm probably going to have people who want to angrily pelt me with the powered donuts that I so love for daring to complain about the scale reading 133 pounds but that is a lot of weight to me. I've never weighed this much before. All of my pants give me muffin top. My boobs are busting out of my bras and all of my cute panties can now be featured in a "crack kills" commercial.
133 pounds just isn't okay to me. It wouldn't be so bad if I knew I was eating healthy and exercising... but I'm not doing either of those things. The hard part for me to swallow is that I have never done any of those things and now here I am not sure where to start.
I guess I should just take a minute and be grateful that for 27 years of my life I never had to worry about "looking in shape" or being "skinny" I just was. And yes sadly I will say that I took it for granted. I've never developed healthy eating habits or followed an exercise routine. Guess I'm paying the price for that now.
And though it may sound weird a small part of me is kinda glad for my body finally turning on me and paying me back for all those countless cans of soda. I need to eat heathly for my heart and even though I've known that my heart isn't healthy for while now it's a lot easier to ignore your heart because you can't see it. Now that my body is starting to look unhealthy...atleast to me anyway :(... it gives me a visual reminder to watch what I'm putting in my mouth. (And yes I do realize how horribly vain it sounds to state that it's easier to eat healthy for my appearance than for my heart but that's a discussion about insecurites and self esteem best saved for another day.) I have found that being naturally thin isn't really much of an ego boost... you'd think it would be but it's not really. Actually having to work at being healthy and in shape is going to be something that I can be proud of. An actual accomplishment rather than just having been born with good genes.
I'm shooting for 120 pounds which I think is a good weight for me being that I'm fairly petite at 5'2. So I'm saying a fond farewell to that scary, depression inducing number 133... I'm glad you could stop by to visit to help get my butt in gear but I'm sorry to say that (hopefully!!!) you won't be staying around for very long.