bloodpressure 158/103
pulse rate over 100
abnormal ekg
(though I think the doctor's exact words were a variant of normal)
echocardiogram recommended
It's times like these
In moment like this
On days like Monday
When I most feel alone.
There's nothing worse that sitting on the doctor's examining table, shivering, half dressed with little sticky electrode things stuck to your chest and missing having that hand to hold. When the only sound you here in that quiet, unreasonably cold room is the ticking of the clock and the rustling of that stupid crinkly exam table paper everytime you swing your feet or move. There's no one to laugh or to break the silence. No one to smile and joke with you about having to give up your beloved soda because you need to lower your sodium intake and caffeine level. No one to reassure you that your heart isn't broken because even if the echocardiogram comes back perfect and it's discovered that your heart pumps blood like a champ, deep down you know that in many ways your heart is indeed slightly cracked. Because you're alone now.
And it's times like these.
In moments like this.
On days like monday.
That I most feel alone and scared.
And wish with all of my possibly broken heart that I felt neither.
pulse rate over 100
abnormal ekg
(though I think the doctor's exact words were a variant of normal)
echocardiogram recommended
It's times like these
In moment like this
On days like Monday
When I most feel alone.
There's nothing worse that sitting on the doctor's examining table, shivering, half dressed with little sticky electrode things stuck to your chest and missing having that hand to hold. When the only sound you here in that quiet, unreasonably cold room is the ticking of the clock and the rustling of that stupid crinkly exam table paper everytime you swing your feet or move. There's no one to laugh or to break the silence. No one to smile and joke with you about having to give up your beloved soda because you need to lower your sodium intake and caffeine level. No one to reassure you that your heart isn't broken because even if the echocardiogram comes back perfect and it's discovered that your heart pumps blood like a champ, deep down you know that in many ways your heart is indeed slightly cracked. Because you're alone now.
And it's times like these.
In moments like this.
On days like monday.
That I most feel alone and scared.
And wish with all of my possibly broken heart that I felt neither.
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