I should be doing homework but...

I have my mom's smile...

And my dad's eyes...
And somehow the face of a twelve year old!!!

What I've learned Wednesdays...

1) Don't put marshmallows in your pocket.

2) I'm almost twenty seven years old and have never had so much as a sip of alcohol and I realized that if you asked me why I don't drink I'd have no reason to give you. Other than that I never have so I don't. You'd think there would at least be some reason for it? Surely I must have some great philosophical, soul defining, deep dark secret kind of explanation? (Well... whenever I figure that one out I'll let you know.)

3) If the clutch isn't all the way to the floor my car will grind in fifth gear.

4) Apparently according to one of the three year olds, "I have chocolate hair." I sorta like that description.

5) I hate buying jeans.

6) Don't wait to the last minute to completely write an essay from start to finish. Because then you end up writing the damn thing until three in the morning. "Eight Hundred and Sixty Miles Worth of Dental Phobia" I'm sure it's quite the fascinating read!

7) No matter what I do or how careful I am I always cut myself whenever I shave my legs. Always!

8) I should never, ever, under in circumstances go with my first impulse.

the things we say

"Get out of the dirt."
"But..."
"No buts... we don't play in the dirt."
"But we're making a baby."
"You need sperm and an egg to make a baby... now get out of the dirt!"

As I'm walking away I'm thinking to myself "Did I really just say that to my two years olds?" And now I'm wondering how I'm going to explain it when one of my kids goes home and uses the word "sperm!"

Tonight

I feel lonely,
and that sucks.
I'm crying,
and believe me that sucks even more.
I hate to cry.
But even more than that I hate being lonely.
Most of the time I'm good...
Really...
I promise I am.
But every now and then...
I'm lonely.
I cry.
And I hate myself for it.

whatever happens, happens

"Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past... stop planning the future... stop trying to figure out exactly how we feel... stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel and sometimes we just have to go with... whatever happens... happens."

What I've learned Wednesdays...

1) Candy corn is fantastic and apparently you can buy it year round not just around Halloween... who knew?!?!

2) I'll probably always opt for the cute Halloween costume over sexy. I'm just more comfortable with cute... besides cute can be sexy! Lady bugs are sexy! Right?

3) I am not a casual sex kind of girl. (And we'll just leave that revelation at that!)

4) Snickers icecream bars are pretty amazing, almost worth the nearly four dollars you pay for just for six of them.

5) If you don't know the rules to the game you better stick to the bench. Don't try to wing it or half ass it. People will assume you know the rules and ask you to play on their team for awhile but trust me... just sit this one out. If you choose to play anyway you'll only have yourself to blame when you lose, unknowingly cheat, or commit a flagrant foul and get ejected. And if halfway into the third quarter you decide the games not for you... well... you can always cut your loses, forfeit and move on. But your old teamate might not think the best of you for it.

6) Always tell the truth. And never accept less than the truth from someone else.

7) I don't think there is anything wrong with taking sex seriously. Some people do, some people don't... I just happen to be a definate DO on that one. And just because I take sex seriously doesn't mean I take everything seriously so don't confuse the two.

8) y=mx+b , y's only equal 0 , x's only is always undefined , and XOXO equals hugs and kisses

life the Elizabeth Readling way

My great-aunt Polly died yesterday... if anything in life ever puts things into perspective it's death. Suddenly you're reminded that this isn't a forever kinda thing we've got going here. It's time sensitive. And no one is getting out alive. In that sense I guess death is a good thing. It reminds us to live. To enjoy the time we have. To not dwell on what could have been or what should have been but to take what we are given and run with it. Losing my grandmother's sister is like losing one more link to my grandmother. My namesake was a fantastic woman... a fighter... early on in life she had more than her fair share of tough breaks and at a young age she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders... taking over raising her six younger brothers and sisters when her mother couldn't. Compared to her I am nothing. I've never faced the challenges she faced... never demonstrated the ultimate grace under pressure that was totally and completely her! Even though the big guy upstairs and I aren't nearly as close as we should be I def believe in something after this crazy ride called life. If my grandmother could look down and see me would she be proud of me? Would my grandfather? I'm not so sure of the answer to that question... I think it would be a little yes and a bit of no. I'm not sure if it's because of where I was raised or because of the people who helped to raise me but my values, beliefs and standards don't always match everyone elses. I think that my grandmother would want me to be proud of who and what I am... not ashamed... not feeling like I need to change myself to better fit in. Death reminds me of my grandmother. My grandmother reminds me of the way I should be living my life. I should be living it the Elizabeth Readling way. I should take everything that I learned from her and apply it to who I am and be proud of that... which hopefully would have made her proud to.